The Quest for the Perfect Burger

Eric Rifert decided to start an American bistro, which of course means he has to have a burger on the menu. Not just any burger, but the "perfect burger," which required some research on his part. So of course, not being American himself but being in America, he went to McDonalds and Burger King. His results were kind of counter-intuitive, seeing as how he's a gourmet chef and all.

Just looking at the basic burgers at each of these chains—particularly the Big Mac—showed me a couple of very key things: First of all, the burgers are a perfect size. You can grab them in both hands, and they’re never too tall or too wide to hold on to. And the toppings are the perfect size, too—all to scale, including the thickness of the tomatoes, the amount of lettuce, etc. In terms of the actual flavors, they taste okay, but you can count on them to be consistent; you always know what you’re going to get.

The other thing he pointed out was that almost always, without fail, the burgers you get at upscale restaurants are designed to be impossible to eat. That's one of those observations that I've noticed for years, but have never really realized it might be common to other people. I just thought that something was wrong with me. This really made me smile, because I've had this same question so many times.

Sometimes “upscale” burgers are so massive, and piled so high with toppings, that I have no idea how to eat them. And the chefs never put the pickle in the burger; when I get one on my plate I always wonder what I’m supposed to do with it.

So true! Don't get me wrong, I know exactly what to do with those pickles on the side of my burger at the nice places. I just eat them. But if I'm at a fast food place, I never do that - I put the pickle on the burger, and I love it as a result. So funny. Anyway, I love reading stuff like this. It makes me realize how careful and scientific good chefs are about their food, and it also makes me realize that a lot of foods I take for granted, like the American hamburger, have a certain ontological shape to them that have to be uncovered through reflection and empiricism, after which a practitioner can make something truly special and original. (hattip to kottke)