Candiru Fish, or "From the Scary Fish Files No. 1"

The candiru fish is also called the "penis fish," and for all the wrong reasons. Not because it looks like a penis or because it has a penis, but because it swims up the urine stream into the man's penis, latching itself into the man's bladder, and basically causing a lot of problems that ultimately require surgery. But the best part? At least we don't have to depend on these excellent treatments anymore.

A traditional cure involves the use of two plants, the Jagua plant (Genipa americana) and the Buitach apple which are inserted (or their extract in the case of tight spaces) into the affected area. In theory, these two plants together will kill and then dissolve the fish. More often, infection causes shock and death in the victim before the candiru can be removed.